Let’s Talk about how great it feels when you have good communication that is effortless. So many times people have complimented me on how I’d respond to something they’d said. They would say that I was easy to talk with and it felt as though they’d known me a long time and that I was a “natural” communicator. That may be true, but even this “natural” had to study my craft of communication, and now, I’m ready to share my secrets with you!
Let’s Talk about the comment that I’ve heard the most through the years, which is, “Diana, you’re so easy to talk to.” The secret to receiving such a compliment is the old adage, two ears, and one mouth. Being a good listener is the best way to communicate. People will tell you either through their body language or words how often you need to speak or for how long. It’s that simple.
Let’s Talk about limiting beliefs. After reading the above paragraph, were you thinking, “Diana, I don’t want to just speak when spoken to”? Well, you’re not. I promise you, by listening more than speaking, the conversation will flow, naturally. Understanding your audience is key. Whether one or 1,001, I’m positive there is no way that you believe everyone is alike. So, lose your limiting beliefs and believe that every conversation will be different. Some will be when you are taking on a “teaching” role and others when you’re the “student”. The more you “listen” to what the other person/people are saying, the better you will communicate.
Let’s Talk about eye contact. This is a big deal. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they are distracted and keep shifting their eyes away from you? That can lead to miscommunication, but since you’re such a good listener now, you will be able to understand what they are feeling by how often they look at you. If you sense fear or intensity, calm them by looking at them. If you sense happiness and excitement, engage them by looking at them. They might initially continue to look around, but if you lead the conversation by engaging them in eye contact, soon they will respond the same way and engage you back. This is a great feeling and will make the conversation even better.
Let’s Talk about what happens if they aren’t making eye contact. Whether speaking with a large crowd or in an intimate conversation, again, listening is what matters. If you’re in a large crowd and someone is distracted, focus and make eye contact on the ones that are engaging you in conversation. The reason for this is, you don’t know what someone is going through, but in a situation like this, their body language is going to tell you. Is there someone that keeps leaving your speaking engagement? Maybe they don’t feel well. Is there someone that keeps looking at their watch? Perhaps, they aren’t focused on what you’re saying because they are worried about a loved one in surgery. Whatever the case, by you listening, you now have the understanding, to not take it personally. By not calling someone out to pay attention, you might actually gain their trust when they have a one-on-one moment with you. They might appreciate you tolerating their behavior and explain to you what is going on. Then, you have your chance to have a conversation that’s worth waiting for.